Pillars

Stop beating yourself up, because the people to whom you really matter, would still want to see you alright and truly happy. And it makes sense to want it for yourself too.

 

Frustration washed over me. I was in that awful state a few weeks back.  It lingered for quite some time and I nearly quit.  I remember one night before closing my eyes to sleep, I said, “I’m done”.  I was determined to quit. I felt helpless and I was ready to let go.  I can’t seem to win over it anyway.

Days after, I went to confront my issues face to face.  The problem was, I knew I was supposed to be doing something about things that I really cared about but lately, I was failing.  Work takes a lot of my time.  I don’t blame my job for it. I don’t curse it because, well, it brings food to the table, allows me to pursue my passion and equips me to give more. The truth of the matter is, I failed to recognize that I was going through a rough season, and like everything else, this season will also come to pass.

When you’ve sucked up to gloomy days for a while it pays to have pillars around.  These are the people who actually help you look at the problem fair and square and present options you failed to notice or even think of. At best,  they would remind you to be gentle and forgiving to your own self, more so because you cannot expect it from the world.

We should allow ourselves some white space, a soft place to land, a breather, a room to fail and make mistakes.  After all, that’s what being human is. We have limits. The sooner we recognize this, the sooner we’d free ourselves from the worthless feeling of inadequacy and frustration.

I must admit that even in the past I had this superhero complex.  Most days I’m able to tame it, but sometimes, it manages to escape and that’s when it takes a toll on me. We can’t really be everything to everyone, no matter how hard we try, and we cannot be in every place at the same time.  If you’re like that too, control that tendency now.  Stop beating yourself up because today and tomorrow, the people to whom you really matter, would still want to see you alright and truly happy. And it makes sense to want it for yourself too.

The conversations I had with my pillars simplified things and gave me clarity.  Believe me, to the world they may just be a bunch of regular people, but they are my bunch. If you have them in your own life, realize that you are very fortunate.

This season also reminded me to take the time to honor my pillars and recognize that no matter how high I soar, I could always count on them whenever my wings break and in need of healing, or whenever the storm gets too strong and I need a shelter for the night.  

A wise man was asked one time, “How come you are able to see far ahead?” , He quipped, “Simple. Because my feet are resting on the shoulders of God. Far and wide He can see,  that’s why I can.”