Waking Up To A Negative Thought

“It seems like they don’t value my opinion as much as they value the opinions of my peers”.

This thought greeted me first thing in the morning in the middle of my prayer.

I just had to let it out and pray for grace. I couldn’t let this weigh me down as I go through my day. It’s a difficult moment to navigate, but necessary.

I went through it with what I believe are helpful questions.

“It seems like they don’t value my opinion as much as they value the opinions of my peers”.

Is the statement true?  

I might not know exactly. I can open it up in a conversation but the party concerned might just deny it. So this is really out of my area of control. What should I do then? What’s in my control? Ah, yes of course. Just keep on giving my best in what I do while I’m at it.

“It seems like they don’t value my opinion as much as they value the opinions of my peers”.

Is the statement good?

Not at all. It occupies a space in my mind and creating some ill feelings towards someone who may not even care or might not even be aware they’re “presumably” causing a problem. It’s more like a self-inflicted wound. I’m silently “hurting”.

“It seems like they don’t value my opinion as much as they value the opinions of my peers”.

Is the statement helpful?

Perhaps. Helpful in the sense that it allows me to evaluate my actions.  

Am I too friendly?

Do I lack confidence in myself?

Am I not assertive enough?

Is this even a major thing?

What can I do besides focusing on the work at hand?

How do I become kind yet assertive?

How do I become humble yet confident in my abilities?

Well, yes, sometimes I get stuck too. But I throw my questions out there in the universe. Usually, the answers would come. Not in an instant but they certainly do. Other times, it’s useful to reach out to someone for help. Be it through prayer, phone call, private message, or just face to face conversations with a family or friend.

What this particular moment teaches me.

There is something good about not knowing or having all the answers, even in what seems to be a petty thing. If we always do, then there would be no room for others to help, not even God. I know that we were not put in the world to go through life alone, suffer our problems alone, or experience our joys alone. When we reach out to another soul to pour our heart out, the burden somehow splits in two. When we share a piece of good news, the joy doubles.

The negative feeling and thought slowly dissipates as I am writing this. Suddenly it doesn’t seem insurmountable, and not even worth more time and energy than what I’ve already given it.

So here and now.

I choose to focus on what’s working in my life. Things I can be grateful for. After all, isn’t it good to start our days with appreciation? To actively look for blessings and miracles even in the most mundane of things?

So let me start with a few things and hopefully, you’d join in and start to list down your own too.

  • quiet morning
  • something for breakfast
  • a roof above my head
  • family
  • friends
  • work to attend to
  • comfortable chair
  • cold breeze
  • sunrise
  • birds chirping
  • prayer
  • good sleep
  • a passion that keeps the fire in my heart burning.

I know most of us can’t wait for problems to go away before feeling happy and content. But it’s possible. Regardless of the circumstances we’re in, the turmoil in our heart, the doubts in our mind, the pain our body, God doesn’t stop being God, and help is always available. Sometimes they come right away, sometimes we may need to wait. However we look at it, they come right on time. We just have to believe it to receive it.

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