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Blue Skies

Photo by x on Unsplash

I could have quickly snuggled back in bed and gotten two more minutes. But that morning, I said, “No. Not again.”

Hitting the snooze button most days left me feeling sluggish. So that day, I reckon, was going to be different.

The Lake

Stepping outside the building, a cold wind greeted me. The sun was slowly rising, and I could see a few neighbors running and sprinting.

“Let’s do this,” I said.

Since I admire physically active people, even non-athletic ones, I emulate them by spending most time outdoors. But with winter, it is a bit of a struggle.

Like a few of my friends, I gain weight during colder months. Call it “hibernation mode”- to justify longer hours in bed or most days on the couch telling stories with friends over a cup of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate.

As I stood outside breathing the fresh morning air, sunlight gently lit up our side of town. I climbed down the steps and slowly headed towards the lake. The water was calm. How can it be when the world “out there” is full of noise? “Even my mind right now can’t stay quiet.” I wonder.

The Wooden Bench

I walked for what could be the longest I’ve done in the past 7 days. Stopping by a wooden bench, I clasped my hands behind my back and stretched while tilting my head back. Ahhh, and there it was.. blue skies! A moment more and a little bird flew by. Beautiful!

Funny, I realized I hadn’t looked up to see the skies for quite a long time. I might have, unconsciously, but not really experienced it like I’ve had now- in joy and wonderment.

Reflecting on this, I recognized it was no different in how I’ve managed situations in my life. I have looked to myself and to others for answers. Of course, I have looked to God, too, as I imagine Him beside me. But there’s something different about looking up.

The Blue Canvas

The vastness of the skies reminded me of how little my “world” is. So from that perspective, most things became unimportant.
-The world will not collapse if I miss a deadline.
-My phone would still be working if I missed a notification.
-My experiences are still enjoyable even without the adorable photos.

Most things can wait. And some can be enjoyed just by themselves, without adding anything to it.

Looking up also gave me a sense of relief. It’s peaceful to see the “heavens.” I think it’s because there is less “clutter” up there. There’s no congestion, no noise, and dare I say, there are no personalities to deal with, even my own.

So my takeaway in all this, look up. Better yet, gaze into the skies now and then. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, empty, lonely, or grieving, I think it’s worth the try. You may think it’s too simple, but maybe, that is all we really need.  

The next day

“Here  you go.”

“What’s this?”

“A letter I wrote to myself. I want you to read it.”

Dear Me,

I’m sorry for shoving you into the closet.

I’m sorry for not liking you and loving you enough.

I was too focused on dressing up my ego that I forgot about you.

I know you don’t need me to show you off to the world, and I won’t even think about it.

But, I promise to be true to you and be a good friend.

Nothing can harm you.

And there’s nothing so impressive in the world that you don’t already have, or that you aren’t already.

You are God-made and God-loved. 

Nothing can be better than that.

Yours,

Now-i-know-better-Me

A moment later, she took my hand and said, “Come on, let’s enjoy this afternoon together.”