FOMO

“Run your own race, and most importantly, own it”.- sundaewrites

I have struggled with the fear of missing out (FOMO) few times in the past. My schedule was filled with commitments I thought I have to make and responsibilities I felt I needed to take, else nobody will. In all those cases I believed I could do everything and on my own. I barely had enough rest, rarely gave myself space or just little moments to breathe life in. I was always breathing out- giving and doing ‘till I felt so drained, so used up and figured I needed to get away from all of it.

Believe me, it was so difficult with FOMO dancing before my eyes like wildfire. I faced a lot of questions in all shapes and sizes:
-who’s gonna do this when I’m not around,
-what if no other opportunity comes
-what if I miss the fun
-what if this business succeeds and I failed to be a part of it
-what if I abandon this project and it fails
-what if my teammates can’t handle this on their own

At that point, I knew I needed to let go and trust. Let go of the worries, fears, the scarcity mentality, and believe that I need some time to rest and give God room to do His wonders.

This introspection did bring some old fundamental questions:

What is my WHY? What path do I intend to take? Is it leading me to where I want to go?

Am I traveling light, or do I have heavy loads on my back filled with stuff I don’t really need?

Am I answering a call or just drifting through my days, or worse, climbing someone else’s ladder?

When you unplug from the world and all its cares and just enjoy a sunny afternoon outside with the sweet warmth of northern breeze touching your skin, it’s refreshing. As what a good friend said, “When you spend time with nature, you get to slow down everything by losing yourself in the moment”.  And I do believe it. Pulling yourself away from the noise and distractions moves you closer to your heart, your thoughts, and yes your very soul.

Like a garden, our inner core needs nurturing too. If we want to give meaningful gifts to the world, we need to feed our entire being. We have to give ourselves time to grow deeper roots, so we can bear more fruit, and good ones at that.

My friend, I don’t know what you’re filling your days with. But I hope whatever you do today is really meaningful because you’re exchanging a day of your life for it. If right now you’re in a place where you feel like you’re swamped with a lot of urgent and important tasks, I invite you to pause for a moment. Empty your table. Take seven deep breaths. Inhaling through your nose and breathing through your mouth. Then slowly, pick the things that you really need at the moment, put them back on the table, leave the rest on the floor. In your life, try adopting this mental exercise too. Take just what you need and carry on. Be fluid.

Abundance-think of it, believe it. Once you do, you’d never be haunted by the fear of missing out. You’ll begin to see the world with more than enough for everyone. Yes, you can pursue anything you want but make sure it counts. Let it define the beauty of your unique existence. Run your own race, and more importantly, own it. Don’t let the world run it for you nor let it decide for you.

Your life is your responsibility, and whatever good thing you have today, there’s more where that came from.

Once

I never appreciated the value of gratefulness until I woke up one day to realize that in my pursuit of happiness it was the missing piece.

Knowing and being thankful for your blessings is one thing.  But naming your blessing and calling them out one by one in the face of sadness and despair is another.

Lately, I’ve been so absorbed with the discomfort of a body pain. I’ve been dealing with it for years. I would whine about it in my mind and blame it for things I couldn’t do, for my short temper, and intolerance to just about anything. Though I never blurted my dissatisfaction out loud nor acted on the annoyance I get to contend with every day, the inner struggle was real and was taking its toll on me. Depression set in, to a point where I questioned, “Why am I even here if I’m up to no good”. Believe me, it wasn’t always my narrative. At at a young age, I already believed I was special- just like everyone else.

My appreciation of every person as being unique and innately good, made me sought and believe in the undeniable gift that every human being can bring into this world- the gift of being their own authentic self.

But though inherently pure and innocent, we cannot deny the truth that as we grow old, our minds get corrupted, we get tempted, we grow frail, and of course, we retire, for good.  Often times we forget about these realities and wonder why people do hurtful things and make bad choices.  We get worried when we start to feel physically weak and we get drawn into the illusion that our strongholds will always be there, till they betray us or leave us.

A time will come when these truths will sink in and find their way to unsettle our steady hearts. Some realities we can change, and some we can’t.  And because not everything in our lives is perfect we have to take the good with the bad. When bad gets overwhelming, we have to start reminding ourselves of things that are actually working in our lives. Mastering this power will help us focus on what we have, instead of magnifying the things that we lack.

“Once I get that gold medal, I will be happy”.

“Once I get a raise I’ll be more passionate about my job” 

“Once I hit the lottery, I’ll be generous to every person I know.

“Once this sickness goes away, I will work to achieve my goals.”

“Once I have everything I could ever want, I vow to love everyone I meet”.

Conditions. We attached them to promises, to our purpose, and to our goals. But do these conditions need to be satisfied before we start doing the things that we know we’re supposed to do?  What if we remove them and declare that starting now,

“I will be happy”.

“I will be more passionate with my job”. 

“I will be generous to every person I know”.

“I will fulfill my dreams”.

“I will love all the people around me”.

Anything is pretty much doable, don’t you think? Getting rid of conditions we set for ourselves, rewards us with the freedom of making our own deliberate choices, regardless of our circumstances.  And that ultimately defines the person we become.

We can only go as far as we allow ourselves to go. So enough with conditions and excuses. The world doesn’t owe us anything. But we owe one thing to the world- – a better us.

Question.

What conditions have you set for yourself? How did it limit you in any way? What big decisions did you make? Share your thoughts. Love to hear from you.

Ride It Out

We have our highs and lows and sometimes we find it difficult to handle both.

Yes, you heard me. There will be days when you’d feel like you’re not getting it. You feel slow, so behind, down, uninspired, even clumsy, and unsteady.  There will be days when you’d doubt yourself and your capacity, question your plans, and beliefs, or how you walk on this journey called life. Yes, the struggle is real. We have our highs and lows and sometimes we find it difficult to handle both.

In this amazing journey that we all share, it’s without a doubt that all of us are eternal students of a real-life university.  We stumble and make mistakes, and at times we reap small wins and victories too. It’s an exciting experience, at least, if you perceive it that way.

You see, we see the world through lenses that we choose to put on.  Some of us wear a pair of blurry ones, some too clear, and some are just about right. What do I mean?

I have met a lot of people who are either too negative or too optimistic.  I don’t judge, I’d tell you that. I’d take the person as he is and get to know him as time unfolds.  Talk about being a realist.

I wasn’t born a realist, but I think I became one as I navigated my way through pleasant and unpleasantness experiences.  If you’ve read past articles that I wrote, ( https://sundaewrites.com/it-all-burned-down-to-the-ground/ , https://sundaewrites.com/the-bitter-pill/, https://sundaewrites.com/make-room/, https://sundaewrites.com/closed-doors/),  I’ve shared an empowering question that most of us fail or fear to ask ourselves. The question of “What Now?”.

This sort of examination is so freeing and empowering as it gives us the courage to let go of what used to be, what we had or have lost in the past, and opens our eyes to the present along with the possibilities that are out there, things that we can hope for and realize. This brings me back to the first three words you’ve read in this piece- “Ride it out”.

Let these words sink in.  Yes, days can be difficult sometimes, just like the weather. But imagine yourself as water making your way through a river. Surely you will hit rocks but still, you’d flow your way around it. You go on and on, to wherever your strength could take you. 

Next time when you feel like you’re down and weak, don’t feel too bad about it. Don’t sulk in tears. If you must, allow yourself to cry or frown. Feel the feeling, experience it, but not for long. At one point you have to tell yourself, “That’s enough”. You have to pick yourself up and move on.  Others say, “Fake it ‘till you make it”,  but I say, “Fake it ‘till you BE it.- all in a positive context.  Emotion follows motion. Smile and leap instead of walk.  Trust me, you’ll be surprised by how different you’d start to feel.

Light up my friend. Never let a gloomy day or a losing moment, weigh you down too much or too long. It happens to everyone even to the best of the best. Life is too short to let yourself get stuck in that one moment forever. Again I say, ride it out!