On Getting What You Want

The subtle mistake is coming from a place of lack.

Getting what you want or achieving your goals is like chasing happiness. It becomes elusive when you run after it.

But when you start with “knowing and believing that you already have it”, it becomes possible to create. Think about a seed finally realizing its capacity to grow into a tree.

Framing our wants positively is important too.

I still hear most people unconsciously focusing on what they don’t want.

“I don’t want to die with a mountain of debt.”

‘I don’t want to lose my job.”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

These may sound harmless but if you don’t want this or that, what do you want?

To be financially independent?

To be so good in your job?

To be supportive and nourishing in your relationships?

When you use statements that clarify what you want, it turns into something you can act on. You are moving towards something instead of running away from something. Remember, where your focus goes, your energy flows.

ACT. This is the most obvious clue to translate your desires into reality.

Things don’t magically appear in front of us. 

Goals don’t materialize overnight.

When we focus on our big goals, most of us either get lost in daydreaming or think, “Who am I kidding? This isn’t possible at all!”  

Well, self-fulfilling prophecies like that could work, just not in your favor.

Break it into pieces. That’s how we can tackle a goal we perceive to be huge.

Think about one thing that you can do today that supports your goal. Using the above examples you could:

  1. Think of an expense you can cut down or eliminate, then add that available money to pay off debts.
  2. Learn something that relates to your role and practice it.
  3. Put your phone down. Listen and be present when a loved one talks to you.

These may seem like small steps, but if you look closer, as you do them you’re already becoming the person you desired you would. The journey IS the destination.

Lastly, celebrate your wins, even the small ones.

Include each win on your “Wins-List” or write about it in your journal.

Why? Because these are your trophies. They are proof and reminders that if you did it once, you can do it again. You can replicate your wins.

Most people ignore daily achievements, but it’s the daily things that get you to where you want to be. As you go along, your confidence grows. You become more willing and able to take further shots in life.

When celebrating your wins, remember to include your “squad” or “people” too. They could be your loved ones, teammates, or friends.

There’s something so satisfying when you share victories with people who fully support you.

How?

  • It gives room for positive reinforcements;
  • It gives an opportunity to acknowledge, and thank the people who’ve been with you the whole way through. 

Trust above helps you today. Create a wonderful life.

How To Breeze Through Your Day Weightlessly

Admit it.  If you’re living in the city or working in a fast-paced environment, it’s normal to end the day feeling exhausted.  Yet when you reach home, there are household chores to finish, priorities that need to be invested in like relationships, personal growth, and side hustles. You need to have ounces of energy left to do these things before you hit the sack.

Truth is, in this day and age, when computers and electronic advances were meant to make things easier and faster, people are feeling more overwhelmed.  We get too much information and too many distractions so we get comfortable with getting things done in an instant-  instant messages, instant food, instant report, etc.  While these are all good, we often times overlook the essential, the basics, the natural, the simple and the quiet.

I am living in this environment too and through time I have learned the value of slowing down. And by that I mean slowing down:

*the pace–  focusing on what’s important

*the heartbeat– letting go of temper outbursts

*the talk– taking more time to listen and get into real, meaningful conversations

*the automatic defenses– to proact and not react

In the process, I have learned and practiced four maneuvers which allowed me to breeze through the day with ease and with a subdued feeling of being weightless. You can try them and see how it’ll give you more freedom- in mind, body, and soul.

1) Stop Complaining

Being a bystander won’t really accomplish you anything. You are not contributing and often disposed to either being critical or indifferent.  Why not become part of a solution or be a champion of change? What if instead of bashing or blaming, you choose to help or fix things?  We can all be more useful to the world by being more helpful and being more caring.

2) Focus and Let Go

You need to focus on things that you can actually do something about, and let go of those that you cannot control. At every point in our lives, we need not know or figure out all the answers before we act or do something. Else, you’d be stuck and end up seeing opportunities pass you by. Letting go also means you need to take calculated risks. Only the person who risks in life is truly free. (taken from a famous poem).

3) Forgive

It’s okay to fail if you do it “leaning” forward.  Take one step at a time. For each step, even if you fall to the ground, take the lesson with you. Important things are, you grow and you keep growing.  Don’t be too hard on yourself, so you don’t get too hard on other people too. When you are more accepting and forgiving of yourself, you become more accepting and forgiving towards others.

4) Restart

Each day is a new day. Don’t compete with anyone. Just be better than how you were yesterday.  The thing of the past, is actually what it is. Today is another chance, and privilege to write another page in the story of your life.  It’s a blank canvas. You can do anything. But fulfill something that you can really be proud of at the end of the day.

Life is short. We already know this but we keep living our lives as if our days are not numbered. So choose wisely and decide now how you want this journey to unfold. At the end of this race, you want to look back and feel glad about what you have accomplished.  Make sure that what you do today, will someday make you feel proud.

“Dear future self, wherever and whenever, I want you to be pleased and really delighted when you think of me”.

Question:

Are you practicing a habit that helps you go through life with ease and more peace? What are those occasions that these habits helped you? I’d love to hear your story. Comment here.

When Life Reshapes Your Plan

Many of us are too comfortable staying comfortable. We resist too much. We refuse to change. We only welcome surprises that we like and hoped for, not the surprises that pull us back.

You go about your daily tasks, work on projects, plan for upcoming weeks, you have resolutions to keep, deadlines to meet, dreams to realize and boom!  You get pulled out, uprooted, redirected.  Suddenly plans collapse and you’re in the middle of the whole wreckage.

Twists and turns, that’s how life surprises us. How do you respond to it?  You get bogged down, discouraged, frustrated and then what? What happens next when life stops you in your tracks?

You pause.  Take it all in. Step back. Recognize what life is trying to tell you.  Understand what God is trying to tell you.

The process won’t be easy. The answers won’t be crystal clear right there and then.  The right thing to do is to do the next right thing.

You don’t have to figure out the answers all the time.  You don’t even have to understand why things happened the way they did.  Acceptance is the key and an action is the only thing that will take you forward.

Many of us are stuck with indecision. We don’t give ourselves a deadline as if we all have the time in the world.  Before we know it, we’ve stayed too long on a flat stationary surface while everybody else is moving forward and moving up.

Many of us are too comfortable staying comfortable.  We resist too much. We refuse to change.  We only welcome surprises that we like and hoped for, not the surprises that pull us back.

Our response to circumstances is quite telling of who we are in terms of character and how much we believe that there’s an external force beyond us, far larger and deeper than our human grasp.

When interruptions take place in our lives, we need to examine our heart and where does it lean on. Our plans are not God’s plans. You aways have to believe that there’s a reason and that reason is always for your own good.

Walls we have strongly built sometimes need to be broken down so we don’t rely on them more than we ought to. We need to rely on the One who gave us the strength to build those walls in the first place.  People, possessions, fame, power and fortune are not eternal trophies.  We will lose some, we will gain some, lose all, gain more.  Our total dependence on something finite, on another human being or even on ourselves has its drawback.   When the supply runs out, the luster’s gone, the person dies, gets sick or grows old, then you know it all stops there.

So what makes an earthly person, eternal?  We focus on exactly that— the eternal.  So that when your plans get disrupted, recalled or overhauled, you have the eyes to see beyond that. It’s easier to let go because you trust the One who knows it best.

God for all that He is, is always with you and will always be with you.  It doesn’t matter where you go, what you do or need to accomplish, what you have to let go or surrender.  If it is His will for you and your life, obey.  Let Him surprise you. Let Him take care of the things you’re worried about. Let God take the wheel.  When you do, you will never lose your way.