Two sides of a coin.
We pursue things we don’t really want
Peer pressure, society standards, parents’ wishes, people’s expectations.
We let these things determine the course of our lives and later find ourselves asking, “Why again am I doing this? Who is it for?”.
Clarifying questions like these are helpful. Often, the questions are easy to ask. The challenge is, the answers we get. Do we like what we hear?
Starting over when necessary for you, would take:
- Re-defining your intention,
- spending time alone with your thoughts,
- looking into your heart,
- taking inventory of what you have,
- imagining the future you want,
- charting your course,
- making the first step,
- and then the next,
- and then the next,
- and so on.
Building on top of what you already do or have would require the same process. Mind you, you’re not going to use all the tools you’ve gathered up to this point but surely there is something you could work with.
Our desires are misplaced. We feed our cravings instead of focusing on things we value the most.
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We don’t “want” the things that are good for us.
Think about craving for likes and shares vs focusing on creating.
- – Fans and followers vs our most important relationships
- – Success and accolades vs learning and growth
- – Accomplishment and outcomes vs process and experiences
- – Luxurious travel destinations vs creating a life you wouldn’t want to escape from.
We are often conflicted.
On one hand, we want things for us but we want them easy. We despise hard work and run away from challenges and difficulties. We escape reality and seek refuge in fantasy.
On the other, we work hard on things to satisfy others’ expectations even if it drowns our own.
So how can we turn this around? Is there a way we can change the narrative in our own story?
Intention.
I believe this is the missing piece.
We are easily swayed to having or pursuing what’s “in”, what’s popular, and we carry through days mindlessly ticking off “have to’s”. No wonder why we fall victim to overwhelm, stress, and “time is never enough” syndrome.
Setting out intentions first thing in the morning or wherever you are right now while mulling over this idea would require you to clarify your values. So, what do you value the most?
- Is it enriching relationships?
- Is it security?
- Is it joy?
- Is it freedom?
- Is it peace?
- Is it integrity?
- Is it love for service?
- Is it passion?
- Is it Meaning?
There could be others but imagine these values as your moral compass so to speak. Once you know them,
- you could build intentions,
- decisions,
- actions, and
- priorities around them.
All else can be blurred in the background or will have to wait. After all, with limited time, space, and resources, you can only focus on a few things and make them significant.
You can’t be everything to everyone. So, carefully choose what you want to do and above that, carefully choose who you want to be.
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